No parent wants to imagine their child struggling with depression. Yet for many families, this quiet struggle is a reality. It is not a reflection of failure or a lack of love. Rather, it is a sign of just how complex childhood has become.

Children and teenagers are more emotionally vulnerable than ever. The weight of academic pressure, social comparison, post-pandemic anxiety and the constant hum of digital life can lead to exhaustion, low mood, and emotional withdrawal. These experiences are not just reserved for adults.

If your child seems distant, low, or simply not themselves for a prolonged period, it is important to trust your instinct. You do not need to have the perfect response. But your presence, your steadiness, and your willingness to support them can make a world of difference.

What to Notice

Depression in young people does not always show up as sadness. Sometimes, it wears the disguise of irritation or withdrawal. It may appear as a loss of interest in things they used to enjoy, or as sudden changes in sleep and appetite.

They may begin complaining of headaches or stomach aches more frequently. Their motivation in school might shift. They might start to say things like, “I can’t do anything right,” or “What’s the point?”

According to recent research in The Lancet Psychiatry, the signs of emotional distress in children and teenagers often go unrecognised for far too long. If these patterns persist for more than two weeks, it is time to seek professional guidance.

What You Can Do

One of the most powerful things you can offer is your full attention. Many parents want to help by solving the problem. But often, what children need first is someone to sit with them in their pain.

Try not to rush in with advice or corrections. Instead, let them speak at their own pace. Even if they are not ready to talk, your calm presence matters more than you know. A simple, “I’m here when you’re ready” or “You can feel anything around me” can go a long way in building emotional safety.

Avoid minimising their feelings, even unintentionally. Comments like “But you’ve got such a good life” or “You’ll be fine tomorrow” can leave a child feeling unseen. Instead, reflect their experience back to them. Say things like, “That sounds really hard” or “I’m so glad you told me”.

If you’re unsure where to turn, your GP is a good place to begin. They can assess your child’s wellbeing and help you access counselling, referrals to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), or suggest other types of therapy. Some children respond well to talking therapy, while others may connect through art therapy, CBT, or age-appropriate group sessions.

At home, focus less on perfection and more on predictability. Children need to feel safe before they can begin to heal. Regular mealtimes, restful routines, and gentle outdoor time can help re-regulate their nervous system. Let them know it is okay to rest. They are not failing for needing space.

And as you care for them, remember that you need care too. Supporting someone through depression can be quietly draining. You do not need to do it alone. Talk to someone you trust. Join a parent support group. Breathe, reflect, and make time for things that ground you.

Where to Find Support (UK Resources)

Your GP
Your first step for assessment and referrals to CAMHS. Visit your local surgery or call 111.

YoungMinds
Leading charity for youth mental health
www.youngminds.org.uk
Parents’ Helpline: 0808 802 5544

Childline
Free, confidential support for under-19s
www.childline.org.uk
Call: 0800 1111 (24 hours)

SHOUT
Text support for anyone in crisis
Text SHOUT to 85258

Place2Be
In-school mental health services and parent resources
www.place2be.org.uk

Final Thought

You do not need to be a perfect parent to support a child through mental illness. You only need to be consistent, compassionate and willing to keep showing up. Even when they are quiet. Even when you feel uncertain.

The healing begins in the small moments. A hand on the shoulder. A cup of tea left by the bed. A reminder that no feeling lasts forever, and they are never facing this alone.

You are not expected to carry this without support. Neither are they.