No parent wants to imagine their child struggling with depression. Yet for many families, this quiet struggle is a reality. It is not a sign of failure or a lack of love. It is a reflection of just how complex childhood has become.

Children and teenagers today face pressures previous generations never knew. Academic competition, social media comparison, post-pandemic anxiety, and the constant hum of digital life can all weigh heavily. These stressors don’t just affect adults. They can deeply impact the emotional wellbeing of young people too.

If your child seems low, withdrawn, or “not themselves” for more than a short while, trust your instinct. You don’t need to know all the answers. What matters most is your presence, your steadiness, and your willingness to walk with them through the fog.

What to Notice

Depression in children does not always look like sadness. Sometimes it hides behind irritability, anger, or distance. It may appear as:

• Loss of interest in favourite activities
• Sudden changes in sleep or appetite
• Frequent physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches)
• Drop in motivation or school performance
• Expressions of hopelessness (“What’s the point?” “I can’t do anything right”)

According to The Lancet Psychiatry (2022), signs of emotional distress in young people often go unrecognised for months. If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks, it’s time to seek professional guidance.

What You Can Do

The most powerful thing you can offer is your full attention. Many parents feel pressure to fix the problem. But children need to feel heard before they can begin to heal.

Listen before you solve. Let them speak at their own pace. Even if they’re not ready to talk, a steady presence communicates safety. A gentle, “I’m here when you’re ready” or “You can feel anything around me” can be profoundly grounding.

Validate, don’t minimise. Avoid phrases like “You’ll be fine” or “But you have such a good life.” These can leave them feeling unseen. Instead reflect back: “That sounds really hard” or “I’m so glad you told me.”

Keep routines gentle. Predictability helps regulate the nervous system. Focus on regular mealtimes, sleep, and time outdoors. Structure creates a sense of safety.

Offer rest without guilt. Remind them that needing downtime is not failing. It’s part of healing.

Science Note
Research in JAMA Pediatrics (2021) shows that parental validation of feelings is linked to better emotional regulation and reduced depressive symptoms in adolescents.

Professional Support

If you’re unsure where to begin, your GP is a good first step. They can assess your child’s wellbeing, refer to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), or suggest therapy options.

Approaches that often help include:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): Supports children in recognising and reframing negative thought patterns.
• Art or Play Therapy: Provides non-verbal ways to process emotions.
• Group Therapy or Peer Support: Helps young people feel less alone.

Some children respond to talking therapy, others to more creative or body-based approaches. The key is finding what resonates for them.

Caring for Yourself Too

Supporting a child through depression is emotionally demanding. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

• Talk to someone you trust.
• Join a parent support group.
• Make time for things that ground you — a walk, a book, a conversation outside of the crisis.

You are not failing if you need support. You are modelling resilience.

Where to Find Support (UK Resources)

Your GP
Your first step for assessment and referrals to CAMHS. Visit your local surgery or call 111.

YoungMinds
Leading charity for youth mental health
www.youngminds.org.uk
Parents’ Helpline: 0808 802 5544

Childline
Free, confidential support for under-19s
www.childline.org.uk
Call: 0800 1111 (24 hours)

SHOUT
Text support for anyone in crisis
Text SHOUT to 85258

Place2Be
In-school mental health services and parent resources
www.place2be.org.uk

The Calm Conclusion

You don’t need to be a perfect parent to support a child through depression. You only need to be consistent, compassionate, and willing to keep showing up. Even when they’re quiet. Even when you feel unsure.

Healing begins in small moments:
A hand on the shoulder.
A cup of tea left by the bed.
A reminder that no feeling lasts forever, and they are never alone in it.

You are not expected to carry this alone. Neither are they.